My sketchbook

2010-07-14T02:44:00.001-04:00

Help.

the 12th - 02

2010-02-12T23:18:00.000-05:00

Woke up to see my bwoi john deguzman on my laptop kinda freaked me out. Then, i played COD online and got my 2nd nuke in derail BIIITCHEESSS!!!!!!!

Today was great, i got to spend it with the best people in the world. We went to downtown to eat sushi in sushi star, it was hella dope.

the 11th - 02

2010-02-12T01:34:00.000-05:00

countless hairier strike
3 chopper gunners
1 nuke

32 kill streak

first nuke - estate

NIIIIIIIIIGGGGAAAAA

the 10th - 02

2010-02-10T23:18:00.001-05:00

Numb

My thoughts of you

2010-02-07T11:52:00.000-05:00

**I actually don't know if this is the whole poem, since i wrote this a while back and posted it here in blogspot but accidentally deleted it. So i decided to type it up again through memory since i lost the file in my computer too. Weird huh. THere might be some lines that are missing but its ok. 

I am falling in love, not with your physical essence but by the appearance of your soul

though your physical beauty puts my system out of control.

While your inner half fills the gap in between so I will not collapse.

In fact you are the heart that connects every artery and vein,

you are my sense of logic and reasoning so therefore you are my brain,

and when it feels like my body is on equilibrium, 

I start to fiend for the presence of your mind and the touch of your innocent soul.

As your company becomes my necessity, the existence of reality is in the matter on how we connect spiritually.

As our thoughts meet to connect in the space in between, 
I start to feel the rush of the real and begin to materialize the dream.
I am seeking for your love in the battlefield where my limbs can be physically crushed.

I want your heart, your soul, your mind to hold but not to claim property,

For you are one of a kind Mona Lisa masterpiece that only my naked eyes have seen.

I wanna engage your lips in the means of speech, 

as you speak everything else is silenced so your words I can receive

it's unique in a sense where my body is petrified, as your words race melodically to my ear

not forced to hear but more like being a witness to an angel singing with a heavenly voice, message is clear.

I am but just a young boy climbing high, waiting to fall.

Hoping that through it all, you would be there to catch me.

Phone Call

2010-02-07T11:38:00.002-05:00

This one is a bit dated.

I hear the voice of an angel behind the other line screaming with whispers of Morse codes,
the words flowing with a melodic rhythm, Broadway with a touch of an orchestra was her voice
It was a musical in the making, verbally - no profanity,
Making me dream about an angel with broken wings falling from heaven hitting the concrete reality
To be only caught by me.
It was an afternoon were the winds were rough, my cold winter friend is coming too soon
You could feel the frost when i cough, watch the leaves fall down as a sign that what I see is gloom
But yet, her voice amazes me, my ears hear the birds singing in the summer breeze
I could see myself running through a field full of dreams , feel the texture as those images materialize infront of me.
As I was about to ask who she was or how she called, the tempest winds came and rushed me as i fell on my knees,
Still holding onto the phone but the whispers died out, the songs faded out, the images dissolves and disappears.
A thousand meaningless hellos to be followed by I can't hear you, to find out that the line was broken,
So how am I suppose to fall in love with you?

The 31st

2010-01-31T21:28:00.001-05:00

New - got my ears pierced finally
New - got cod finally, after waiting for exams to finish
New - exams are done, sem 2 starts tomorrow

I have 2 essays to work on but as you can see I have been loafing hard and instead I'm sitting here blogging about this.

*

2010-01-10T13:43:00.001-05:00

So I just booked how I cant write for shit any more. :|

untitled

2009-12-28T02:17:00.002-05:00

Love is a (an) abused and overused topic in poetry.
But if talking about love is how I can explain how much you mean to me,
then I will violate and persecute
the subject until it is absolutely dry and empty.
You are the sweetest apple of my eye,
my own little garden of eden,
you are the brightest smile after every frown and every cry
and the most comforting words ever spoken
You are the fill in my blanks, and being with you
brings out who I truly am.
I will go beyond limitations just to reach you and feel the warmth of your touch
not only climb the highest mountain, but climb every single one of them
just to shout I _____ you, I need you, and i want you here with me.
Grab you by your waist, as I hold you tight closely with me.
and whisper to your ears, I'm yours.

Frail

2009-10-16T01:59:00.001-04:00

Poetry, written and expressed with the utmost touch of emotion.
Yet I am lost for words as my thoughts are wandering in deep in space.
I feel no pain, I wield no happiness, and carry no sorrows,
I disregard anger, I ignore hatred and misery I do not keep company.
So I write with a meaningless goal,
because my emotions that drives a poet to write with passion is left shallow.
It is not deep compared to the depths of the pacific,
nor is it unreachable like the stars that watch us from above.
It is calm, sits still, tranquil, and motionless
that you cannot sense its presence.
It is feint and weak that you can see the wounds as it is shattered and broken.
So to write a poem that reach the abyss is impossible to achieve.
For my emotions are frail to be able to sustain the thoughts and
metamorphose the simple thoughts into heartfelt words that can warm ones heart.

faint-hearted

2009-09-21T22:14:00.002-04:00

To feel pain is a mortal's weakness,
To show that you're hurt is a man's blemish,
To shed tears is to admit defeat.
Yet my system, a creation of God, is made in His image -
To define perfect, flaws should not exist,
and yet, I have become the opposite, grown to be a doppleganger.
I have shown the world my flaws,
I feel pain and cried a river to wash away the sorrow.
But what I define makes me unique,
although imperfect under the sun and the moon, It is still me.
Limited, but what makes me imperfect defines my perfection and nothing less.

Without You

2009-09-20T02:16:00.006-04:00

My body is weak, helpless without the touch of your fingertips.
Heart is fragile without the presence of your love.
I see the sun in the future when your body is close to me,
yet I grow uncertain when your far beyond my reach.
Physically, my love is mortal and can only perish without your hand.
Emotionally, it is alive and well but I grow uncomfortable whenever you're across the seven seas.
Love is painless - when you're not trying to make it flourish,
yet my heart throbs and its wounds bleed when struk.
It remains cloudy when we walk inside the belly of the dreadful Lybarinth
yet I see the sun smiling right above us when our lips and hands meet
It is like a coin tossed in the air, only to be judged by chance , blessed by luck and doomed by misfortune.
Because I am as close to reaching my paradise as I am being devoured by the tempest that walks on the surface of the sea.
I am running blindfolded through a valley that will bring me both gifts and curses, water and stone
Yet I still choose to run so I can catch you and hold you within my arms,
For no calamity nor any form of misery will take me away from the woman I love.

Out of Music

2009-08-07T00:21:00.003-04:00

The curtains are closing, and the musical notes have faded into the background.
The show has ended, but i still see the audience waiting for an encore.
Should I stay with the band and miss the only flight back to the city where the beautiful garden lays.
If I were to stay, and feed music to the ears that hunger for the sight of sounds-
I will starve , for I can't live without the nourishment that the garden gives.
Will I be able to make the the decision in time, the clock is ticking as the time is willing to move without me.
To freeze the moment, is to capture a photo to relive every second.
But why would i choose to do that, when I have something greater. The other side is greener.
Yet im tempted to stay, for the voices of those who seek for more are ringing inside my head.
But I dont not see the need to play the music and move along with it.
The plane will soon leave, with me left behind if i choose to stay.
But i choose to turn my back on the audience and the music.
I choose to walk out the doors and throw away my instruments so I will never play again.
For the other side is greener.

In the other side.

2009-07-18T12:45:00.003-04:00

Poetry - as the rush of emotions leak from the veins of my soul,

yet no blood is spilled from my skin that blankets my heart.

I could hear the water rush in the far distant corner of my room

yet i feel the droplets of water on the surface of my skin.

The curtains are yet to be closed for the orchestra just opened to play the theme

but i could hear the musicians slowing the rhythm and volume to reach the fin

The phantom of the opera - a classical ghost roaming around the depths of time,

Yet I no longer feel its existence because i no longer see the sun exchanging vows with the moon

Frozen has the time become, yet i cud still here the clocks ticking

but the hands are not moving forward as it stays in its position.

As I continue to walk alone to pass the doors, the music dies out into whispers.

Falling against it.

2009-07-02T20:44:00.000-04:00

I was forged with hands and let dry in the sands of time
to be brushed over by the wind while being breezed through to dry
I grew wings of an angel with snow white and elegant feathers
yet my heart became dry and as i rose higher it whithered
I could feel the influence of the altitude as the pressure inclined
To hear the words of love was impossible and to feel emotions declined
Until something changed the course of the north wind
Death was spelled by the typhoon, an instrument to change life has been sent
The loud roar of thunder clashed with the swift movement of my flight
and the strike of the deadly lighting cut my wings so precise
I could feel the rush, dancing against the melody
my fall was too deep, as if thw winds moving against me wasnt reality
I got no choice but to fall, facing the ocean thats beneath me
Im a man who recieved a bad fortune cookie, for a storm is coming right after the tragedy
Is this what a man must do to win?
To fight everything and move against the flow even from within?
but then again, there's always, what if?

Candle Light

2009-05-27T21:53:00.003-04:00

Can't you feel the flame as it stood still on the candle

Burning with passion yet it remained calm and under control

No wind from the opened window could blow it off although it would flicker imperfection.

Although the fire was passionate , the candle it belonged to was flawed.

The wax was melting, and the fire was fated to die.

The candle is melting away, and the flame is burning with composure as it stood still

and although it would not last forever, it remained beautiful

The flame was shapeless, null and void but it remained true to its duty

It kept the room bright while the moon had disappeard and the stars were absent from the night sky.

The candle continued to cry but this did not bother the flame.

It remained elegant, although it knew it's time was almost over.

The clock strikes its short hand 5 times and then the flame slowly died out

The darkness began to eat up the little shattered remnance of light

Is this what was suppose to happen, will the flame just give up the passion it burned for?

The master of the house came and brought a new candle, with the same match he lit the new candle, and a familiar face has warmed the room

It was the same, it remained calm while burning with passion.

It was still imperfect, but it remained true to its duty

The flame was destined to light the room as man was to love and serve the master.

The old man said,"Work for Me and I shall reward what your heart desires, love."

"I will not abandon you in your time of need," he continued.

As the flame died, when the first candled melted away,

it was born anew with a deeper passion and a stronger candle to last a lifetime.

Flawed

2009-05-27T20:53:00.005-04:00

I am human and so I overflow with flaws that desrcibe my imperfection
My mind isn't calm nor could my heart overcome a thousand daggers.
I was built in the image of God, our creator, the greatest artist and our master.
But yet I fall far from expectations because of a human mind, heart and architecture.
My hands are made dirty and my body is covered with wounds while my heart is drowning.
My soul is surrounded with smog, that it can't breathe thouroughly.
Was I made to break my own body, soul, heart and mind?
I sit here asking for answers while waiting for a message to come.
Being born a human, patience isn't in me.
But to grow a Christian under the branch of God gave me patience and the will to wait.
I have been clinging to life, No, I have been trying to cling to God
For He is the only one who can show you the light at the end of the dark tunnel,
or build you the road to salvation and help you climb the steepest mountains.
He said, "Work hard, be patient and believe. And you shall reap the finest rewards."
Although i stumble and fall down the road, or even wander out from it,
He will hold my hand and lead me back to where i should be heading.

Thanks for everything.

CIty Lights

2009-05-27T10:35:00.002-04:00

The sun has fully set and the city lights are as bright as ever.
The streets are getting busy as I hear beeps and horns blowing from corner to corner.
I could see the moon but the stars are hidden under the dark fog that clouds the city wide
No one is sleeping on their beds but everyone is out and alive.
But why am I feeling alone, as if no one was waiting at home
Although I'm on my own phantom, my own engine i cannot fathom.
I see myself turning around the corner on the 7th street pass the avenue of misery
It was the only road that was made by bricks,
and I was astonished to find out that it was so peaceful and calm.
As if it was an innocent girl with that hasn't been touched evil and temptation
I have finally found the only quiet place in this busy city night
so i decided to stay for a while, a couple of minutes turned to a couple of hours.
I enjoyed watching the sky under the blue moonlight, and I was yet to be surprised
because for the first time i have found a bright white star that flickers with my beating heart.
And ever since that wonderful night, I never wanted to be apart.
then the old man said, work under the sky and try to reach for the star
because in the end, you will be rewarded when the star falls from the heavens.

Glass

2009-05-26T15:27:00.002-04:00

What is this crystal peice of artwork that appears under my own chest,

It beats in the same rhythm as the ticking of seconds in a quiet dinning hall.

It breaks the light and shows me a daze of colourful sights

yet my mind wanders somewhere else, forgetting the crystal glass as it breaks twice.

I feel the sharp ends as the magnificent art shatters into a puzzle of make belief

but i dont believe i can fix the broken glass nor can I finish a puzzle with a missing piece.

It is impossible for a quarter of the sands of time to cover the seven seas

or enter the pearly gates above the stairway to heaven with the wrong keys

What is needed is to paint a vivid sunset rather than paint another mosaic typhoon

for i myself does not know if theres a rainbow when the sun shines after the sky gets gloom

Should i replace the broken glass or try to forge them again

Because as long as it remains, there's not another wine it can contain.

To forge it back, I will continue to drink from the same wine that pours through the cup

But the flow of everything else is moving against me, so to judge i dont know much

Only time can tell, the old man said.

But every minute is costly i thought, as i laid to rest on my bed.

Love, Beauty, Time and Distance

2009-05-05T23:46:00.005-04:00

You’re as beautiful as beauty can define

I find myself helpless because I’m imprisoned behind the bars of your beauty

I am stunned as if I was bit by a snake and poison is going through my nerves

But only my heart knows what I want and what I desire

For my brain cannot think alone and it cannot separate my emotions within me

I don’t have enough words to describe your smile

Nor do I have enough words to express your beauty

I am falling deeper and deeper every time the sun shines

And I’m feeling more love every time the sun sets in the ocean that divides us

But distance and time are just mere numbers

That one can see right through once love is made bond

Time will move on forward with both you and I and the distance will shrink

For love is stronger and will overcome any obstacle in its way and make those

Which try to stop it strengthen its roots to provide a longer and stronger branch

For the branch can’t bear fruit without the blessings of its roots

You are the monalisa smile that Da Vinci painted, a masterpiece to begin with

Yet you are only human, and both you and I are alike.

We are built with flaws, but I only see perfection in you

For when I look at you I see God, our creator, the artist, beside you

Time we have overcome, but there will be more waiting that is needed

We are together on a boat floating on a river that seems endless

Can we both wait, for at the end is the castle and a humble home.

- quote " Dance with God and He will let the right person for you cut in to dance."

- quote " A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him to find her."

Share what i know

2009-05-04T22:57:00.002-04:00

He made a difference in my life. God helped me through. He reached out and i grabbed His hand. It feels good to be found again. I want to tell you what He did for me. But you already know. I want to help you like how He helped me. :)

God Bless to you all:)